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Thursday, October 25, 2007
Down, Really Down... ...
Feeling very depressed, upset, anything that brings unhappiness, I'm feeling it. Krys is not listening, has not been listening, has not been behaving. I may not be home, but I know at my fingertips what the hell is going on at home. I had one eye closed, because I did not want to be a bossy father. Now all hell broke lose, whatever I say to Krys, she'll reply 'OK', but will she do it? Did she do it? Rarely.. seldom... in fact, sometimes not at all. Why is it so difficult to be a good father? I know there will be thousands of reason other's can say that I can improve as a father. But what more can I do? It has been obvious my presence is not welcomed, because Krys simply feels 'restricted' with me around, afraid that I'll scold her for this, or for that, for whatever matters. Did I? Do I always scold her even though she at times did something wrong? Didn't I talk to her nicely at times? I'm only strict when there is a need to, other than that, I am always quiet, and I don't comment or talk too much.
Tomorrow is her Chinese Paper One, Composition. Her Chinese is her worst subject. No amount of hard work her mum or myself try can make her get interested in it. All I asked for is for her to read some Chinese passage, instead, she insist she wants to read her English storybook. I have to remind her it IS her exam tomorrow, and repeated a few times she need to read some Chinese, but her response? "I want to read my English story book.", she said. It hurts me to see her behave that way. Her mum? Coincidentally, she SMS me and asked me to read with Krys a few Chinese passage, because she can't come over and she's worried. What the hell am I supposed to do when one is more bothered with her own things and the other is not bothered anout her own exams at all?
I don't feel like caring about anything anymore. Give me a break. Give me some silence. Don't provoke me! Antagonise me at your own peril!
 Better times... why now like that?
Posted by:: ~ S I N ~ Time:: 8:29 PM
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